


BORUTO! CHEATING LITTLE SNOB AND SECRET LOVE AFFAIR

by EccentricArctic, ShylyChronic



Category: Naruto, Naruto Parody
Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy, Explicit Language, F/M, Funny, M/M, Movie References, Multi, Offensive, Romantic Comedy, cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:01:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4976428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EccentricArctic/pseuds/EccentricArctic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShylyChronic/pseuds/ShylyChronic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Shikamaru finds himself in a uncomfortable situation between the Hokage and his best friend??? A very sticky situation that he can’t get himself out of. Apparently, he earned it after siding with the sour ass kid that cheated (Boruto)! Serves him right!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What The Chapter Caused

**Author's Note:**

> After seeing Boruto: Naruto the Movie, we both felt like it was just and necessary to vent out in a very *fun* and *creative* way! Ands what’s better than bashing the selfish Boruto and making our OTP real? Making it actually happen. Without CHEATING! Why? Cause we aren’t Boruto!
> 
> Also, we love hinata/naruto and sakura/sasuke. Those were our first Ships when we were younger but we wanted to experiment in the name of yaoi!
> 
> This is a collaboration with my other half and best friend! Please enjoy the humor!  
> (Read hashtags)

Naruto likes to pretend the man is extremely busy because we can’t have a hokage fucking around during crucial times and these were one of them. The science future tool project shut down a couple weeks ago and now he had to fix all this shit. Couldn’t catch a break in this bitch. Ugh. So he continued to type away nonsense with a diarrhea concentrated facial expression: eyes squinted, leaned forward, and tongue slightly sticking out.

Sasuke being the boss ass ninja he was, was currently trying to process how Naruto’s ‘favorite non-cheating son’ managed to even become a fucking shinobi. That sour ass must’ve sucked ass to his mother who apparently convinced his father to consider him one. It was a goddamn miracle that his daughter possessed the sharingan after getting involved with a useless bitch that cried over him. Fuck. How in the world did they even get involved in this? Couldn’t they just possibly burn the world into asses and start all over again? No. That seemed impossible. Especially with kids like Boruto The Fucking Cheater walking around. Shit.

“hmmmm… i see.” This was a cover letter sent by no other than konohamaru and that fucktard had taught buruto the ways to master the goddamn rasengan like some righteous little snot. It wasn’t his ideal intention to teach him that technique until he passed all those other tasks. Naruto was ready to smack him upside down: his palm was twitching with anticipation, that even veins popped up. VEINS. He needed someone to do his dirty work because a hokage can’t get his hands filthy. Believe that shit. 

After a short ass while of pondering why in the fuck the world they live in turned into shit, Sasuke wondered off into the hokage’s office to give his dumbass potential lo- or should he say HUSBAND an earload of how he fucked up. If he didn’t go off and gave big breasted hinata a screw, that idiot of a child wouldn’t have ruined their chance to go public and shit. Maybe he should’ve killed off Sakura while he had the chance. That flat chested bitch had caused this as well. “I’m going to shove this sword up his ass so far up, he won’t even see my sword coming” He muttered under his breath as he successfully slammed the door open and walked in like he was royalty. “Why in the fuck are you focusing on that? You should focus on my ass instead. Loser” 

Startled by the loud noise erupting from his office door being harshly forced open, naruto immediately scattered in a rush to collect all his paper work and reorganize them before clearing that damn lump stuck in his throat, “sasuke, i have eyes and ears everywhere! keep your filthy mouth shut BAKA!” he barked, unaware that shikamaru was on the other side of the wall eavesdropping like a lame nark.

\-------------------  
’shit shit shit shiiiiiiiiiit, naruto doesn’t know i’m here!” Whined shikamaru behind closed doors with no way of seeking a way to step outside and getting caught in the process. So, instead, he hid like a little bitch and jerked out his cellphone and complained more than his wife on her rag. “and he’s with sasuke, fuuuuck meeeee…. UGH! guys!” the genius prodigy posted on snapchat but that wasn’t too bright of him. Idiot.

Being the nosy bitch Ino was, she clicked on her snapchat and noticed that her fellow and ex boyfriend updated his story. Curious, she open them and found herself snorting loudly in laughter. It was no surprise that these two fuckboys were going to have their rounds. EVERYONE FUCKING KNEW. Expect hinata and sakura, those two skanks will hold on till the rest of their life. Damn bitches be thirsty. Rushing to her joined restroom, she posed in front of the camera and snapped it to shika before adding “tell them we all know ;)” 

Yuuuuuum fuuuckity yuuuum yum. Fat ass choji was always stalking everyone’s business on the infamous Snapchat app that his gross little daughter had introduced the bottomless pit to. And boy, did things escalate in this soap drama unfolding in front of his eyes. Without missing a beat, he began to unintentionally breath like darth fucking vader and lick those sticky ass fingers to take a snap real quick, “shika, bro, come on! didn’t you kno??” he sent amused.

\-------------------  
Clearly, the Uchiha didn’t give two fucking shits for what he said as he made his way towards the desk and slammed his hand against it. Did this bitch ass deny him? Did Naruto think he was playing god? He is definitely going to put this bleached ass in his position as a bloody Uke! He was the FUCKING SEME in this GODDAMN relationship. “Did you just reject me?” He sneered lowly as his oh so sexy eyes turned into that bloody red color. He wasn’t fucking kidding when he wanted some ass. When he wanted some, it is supposed to be given to him. No questions asked.

Naruto clenched both his fist tight which rested comfortably on the arms chair before narrowing those eyebrows in vexation but surprisingly the knucklehead kept his composure. Fuck yeah. He was slaying like the hokage before him and it sure as hell ran in the family. “do you have any idea who you are talking to teme?!?!” His lip twitched from all the preposterous nonsense spouting out of fucking uchiha’s mouth. 

Feeling the anger course through him like electricity, the desk cracked a bit beneath his fingers in response. Was this idiot feeling ballsy today? It appeared so and boy, was it pissing him the fuck off. “And do you have any idea on what you are looking for?” A very sadistic looked flashed in his eyes as the commas in his eyes were spinning dangerously. He wasn’t the type to wait and nor was he the type to walk away. Sasuke was damn ready to pounce the hokage in front of him and show him that he’ll go weak within a matter of seconds. This bitch was his.

\------------------  
Hyperventilating into a mess of fuckatries, shikamaru refused to stop taking important snaps of his reactions in a frenzy! Things escalated too quick to comprehend and man that ruined the guy as he uploaded, “They’re about to fuuuck! Get me out of here!” panic struck him faster than a lightening bolt and he wanted to be struck instead of hearing these faggots get it on. WHAT A DRAG. 

It wasn’t long before word reached the ‘bitch of wind’, as Temari flicked through her snapchat and bursted out laughing. Her unfortunate husband appeared to be stuck in a very sticky situation with no way out. She felt like he deserved it regardless, there was no way in hell that she was going to help him out. With a stoic face, she placed her hand beneath her chin and snapped “You deserve being stuck in there ;) Good luck getting out!” Smirking, she leaned back and waited to see the reaction she was specifically looking for.

He swore many unfathomable cuss words in a foreign language, this woman was going to be the legitimate fucking reason of his death. He was almost not sorry for purchasing a cheap wedding ring, in courtesy of choji. Dumbass bitch. She doesn’t understand the pressure he is in, under deep goddamn pressure. “They’re married, with kids woman!” he snapped back into the group chat. Fucking shit. 

____________  
Yandere sasuke was a pissy little jerk who needed a can of WHOOP ASS, “my wife can walk in any minute or worse… MY kids, dattebayo! are you ready to explain it to them?!” Naruto had to snap out of reflex and hold back his caged lion urge, Raaaaaaawr motherfucker because this goddamn uchiha was making him hot and bothered, Although, he wasn’t going down without a fair rumble. Since this uzumaki was tuff as hell and he didn't plan on being uke this time around. No way in hell.

Not being able to contain the smirk that was forming on his captivating lips, he moved slightly to the side to show that the door was indeed locked. Now, Sasuke wasn’t the type of dumbass to leave them in the open, exposed and people knew that whenever they had ‘important’ meetings, they were not to be interrupted. No matter the circumstances. “Hn.” Taking full advantage of the situation at hand, he easily maneuvered around the desk reeeeal slick and pressed his hand against Naruto’s chest with some heated pressure. “Relax and enjoy it loser.” He gently pushed him back a bit and leaned forward to only capture the idiot’s lips with a quick and demanding manner. This fucker was going to get it for denying him earlier.

To be Continued.....


	2. Chou Chou’s Disturbing Appearance!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Shikamaru is trapped in his own deep hell hole, the next generation of ninjas are dealing with something more worse than Sasuke and Naruto having a secret affair; CHOU CHOU!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to remind everyone that this FanFiction isn’t to offend anyone or directed by any means possible towards anyone. This is just a way to mess around with the characters and have a little spoof of fun. Hope you enjoy!

What felt like ages ago, it was now a few days after the dumb ass accident that boruto caused. That idiot was stupid enough to have fell for the Ninja Tool that seemed too fishy to begin with. He ended up getting caught not only by Sarada’s father, but by his oh so handsome father! She felt embarrassed to even have feelings for his cheating ass. How degrading could this possibly get!? Hearing the familiar annoying yell of her mother, she treaded downstairs to only see her pacing back and forth. Frowning, she immediately walked out of their home due to the fact that her pissy mother kept on complaining that her papa wasn’t home yet. For all they know, he could be training! Why couldn't she become more useful and do more stuff around the house?!

Boruto Uzumaki had been spacing out all week but during his dazed and confused state, it didn’t remotely stop him from stepping outside into the open though. Being public and in eyes watch was thrilling. Even after making an appearance at the Konoha Morning Show to clear out any fog in the air without fucking misunderstandings, every villager seemed to drastically change their perspective and views towards the little snob. Well shit, so much for coming out clean. 

“whatever man, shit happens, why hang onto it?” Said Shikadai Nara in utter shit boredom. He had been winning local video game tournaments around secretive places to spite his parents whom were completely against the idea. But today, Shika had taken a break to consult his buddy in need. But all he could think of saying was,‘cool story bro.’

Letting out an irritated sigh, Sarada took a swift turn and ended up spotting both Boruto and Shikadai in the distance. Standing in place in deep thought, she wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted to go up to these fuck boys due to their natures and such. But before she could even walk away, her ears picked up a distinct sound of munching right besides her. Fuck, it had to be this annoying piece of grease, Chou Chou. Forcing a smile across her face, she greeted her kindly. “Hey!” 

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH. Chou Chou couldn’t stop chowing down on her delicious salty chips. She couldn’t even hear Sarada’s greeting due to the loud noise of her constant chewing. Licking her sweaty fingers clean, she grinned and pointed at Boruto in the distance. “HEY! WHY AREN’T YOU WITH THAT SWEET PIECE OF MEAT OVER THERE?!” She yelled obnoxiously without a care in the world. 

UGH. Fuck me. With a needed cringe of pure disgust, boruto turned to the general direction of the noise, “you’re disturbing the peace! scram out of here piglet!” shouted the young uzumaki in an attempt to shooo away the beast. It couldn’t reach the city or the people will confuse the thing for a grumpy eating monster.

“whaaat a drag, why is she even here?” whinned shika, pausing the video game in an attempt to run away but was stopped by boruto.

In boruto’s defense, he said, “if i go down, you go down with me” welp, there goes their social status, not that they had one to begin with but they didn’t want to get noticed this way either. Shiiiiit.

Covering her ears in protest, Sarada immediately moved away before anyone would associate her with the greasy looking pig next to her. Pushing up her glasses, she sent a shy glance towards Boruto as she shook her head as if she was saying, ‘ I wasn’t with her! I swear!’. She honestly wanted into crawl into a hole and die than be stuck with that thing. Coughing lightly, she once again plastered a fake smile towards the other two and sent a pleading glance to save her. Any excuse could literally help her at the moment. ANYTHING. Even if it was to go do the screw! she was THAT desperate.

Chou Chou was not even remotely bothered by the harsh comments she received as she walked towards both boys and wiped her sticky fingers on their backs while laughing like a dying cow. “Oh come on! I know you want some of my love handles!” She teased with a flirty and ugly looking wink.

Boruto gagged uncontrollably like a cat trying to get rid of a hair ball plastered on the back of its throat. UGH UGH UGH. His jerky body movements in an attempt to be the clown of the group didn’t sit well with his stomach. After a while of pretending to puke, it becomes more real than the stomach rolls on chou chous back. And here it comes, the moment he didn't want to anticipate on, full on upchuck all over the ground before he could even lend a fucking helping hand to the four eyed uchiha. He waved his hand around, urging everyone to look away.

Nope, shika wasn’t going to fukcing move. This was going up on Snapchat. Little bitch asked for it. Click fuckity click click. He took pictures, videos and posted them up for everyone to see. That is what best friends do up in this bitch. Humiliation at its finest. He gave the uzumaki a thumps up of approval. “there there, take it easy man, breath in and out… PFFFFT” shika couldn’t contain himself for all he was worth. oh well.

Covering her mouth in slight disgust. The young uchiha walked over towards borutos side and kept a reasonably amount of distance whilst patting his back in comfort. She did not want any of this fucking gross body fluids over her. GAAAG. “You’ll do fine! Deep breaths!” Without realizing it, her patting turned into a more forceful one. It was if she was about to beat the shit out of this fucker. Hiding her smirk, she felt like she was getting him back for being a sore ass during the exams. Fucking finally.

Chou Chou once again ignored Boruto’s boomer like vomiting as she wrapped her sausage like arms around Shikadai and puckered up her lips. Demanding for some lovely action! She wasn’t going to give up on this opportunity. She wanted some shadow ass! MUNCH MUNCH!

Boruto gagged, coughed, puked and struggled through each fucking back pat that felt like trying to recuperate a dying horse back to its high legs, oh no, tiiiimbeeeerr. He fell onto his pile of smelly breakfast and lunch. Smothering his face and body. He laid there twitching, wondering why he acted like a jerk to begin with. That’s what happens when you act, you mother fluffing puke a pool of all the fucks in the world.

WHHHAAAT THEEE FUUUCK?!?!? Shika accidently dropped his video game console which he held dear beside the tired boruto and into the puddle of goo. Way to fucking go. Rip to the 2015 game console that made it through four years of nothing but hardship in victorious battles. And now to block this huge cow from smooching him and stealing away his first kiss. He would be damned if it is her and not himawari. “GTFO!! OH MAN, NOT COOL!! SO NOT COOL OR THE NINJA WAY!” he shouted and he did hand signs before casting a shadow clone justu onto that fat fuck. staaay awaaaay. 

With all the racket that was going on not so far from Orochimaru’s kid, Mitsuki, he ended up jumping on the rooftop that happened to be next to the group of wild bitches. He literally had to refrain himself from laughing to loudly as he witnessed Boruto and Shikadai’s unfortunate fates and felt like he needed to step up as the next homo spiderman hero! Stretching his arms out like a fucking snake, he managed to grab onto Chou Chou and practically sent her flying into a meaty ass restaurant that was at a lengthy distance. What a fucking pig. 

Sarada, being the only one who was sane enough to witness everything, jumped up and down in joy as the fat ass cow was now out of their sight. Glancing up, she waved towards Mitsuki who only waved back and landed gracefully next to them to help Boruto on his feet. Biting her lip, she refrained herself from laughing as she took notice to Boruto’s shit covered outfit. Honestly, she didn’t even care about patting him into his own puke. NO FUCKS GIVEN! THUG LIFE! 

Boruto smiled a full lengthy teeth set smile as his team mate helped him up, but stood amazed at sarada’s pat, like fuck girl, do you not see me covered in fucking puke? guess not. Smoother that shit all over your hand, don’t forget my shoulder too while you’re at it. Because as long as we are not giving two shits, might as well. Yolo that bitch son. “Ahem, thanks for the save there, i think i need to take a bath before the old man thinks i’m nasty and upkept” He thought he should visit him at his office, their shower was ten times awesome than the one at home.

Shika perked up at the mention of showers. Why you ask? Well himawari lives and resides at the uzumaki household and he wouldn’t miss a chance to say hello sexy mama. well just him but still. Gotta make them feelings known. “ummm. i can clean up a bit too, i mean, i touched chou and i wouldn’t want to get infected or something and plus you owe me a video game soooo… i’ll go too” he coughed uncomfortably to cover up his true intentions. 

Sarada perked up at the idea of going to Boruto’s place as well due to the fact that she could probably pester his mother about her papa’s whereabouts for the sake of her annoying ass mother. Smiling brightly, she grabbed Mitsuki by the arm and tugged him a bit closer. “We’ll go too! I’m sure that papa might be there!” Not even bothering to hear any protests, she released Mitsuki and grabbed onto Boruto and Shikadai to only drag their asses on the floor with Mitsuki following behind. She didn’t want to get covered with Chou Chou bacteria! That shit could be infectious for all she knew! UGH.

To be continued…


End file.
